When Chaya migrated to Australia with her partner Neil and their 18-month-old daughter Anya, she was fearful of her future.* The painful memory of Neil whisking baby Anya away from her to stay overseas for a whole month was still fresh in her mind. It marked the beginning of a journey with untold risks, danger and isolation.
In Australia, Chaya felt her isolation strongly. She had no family and no means to support herself and relied on Neil heavily as she couldn’t communicate in English well. To make matters worse, Chaya had chronic health complications after giving birth to Anya. Neil's threats of sending her back to her home country without Anya, loomed heavily over her. The constant criticisms she endured from him finally took a toll, as Chaya began to battle depression.
Neil took every opportunity to control her life, her actions and her choices. He would make appointments for psychological assessments on her behalf and attempted to build a narrative that Chaya was mentally unfit and couldn’t care for their daughter. He would insist on being present during medical consults taking advantage of Chaya’s inability to converse in English.
Observing his controlling and increasingly aggressive behaviours, the doctors including her GP soon understood that Chaya needed help. After one of his failed attempts at the doctor’s, Neil became enraged and turned on Chaya, demanding that she leave the house with only the clothes on her back and nothing else. Locking the bedroom door so Chaya couldn’t retrieve any of her belongings he held Anya back with him.
A desperate Chaya attempted to break the lock on the bedroom door while Neil called the police who turned up expecting to confront a troubled and dangerous woman. Instead, Chaya held her composure and persuaded the police to speak to her doctor, who confirmed Chaya’s difficult circumstances and Neil’s concerning behaviours.
It wasn’t the first time that Neil had called the police on Chaya and it soon became evident that she needed their help. This time Neil was removed from the home. When Chaya was referred to Windermere, she received support to seek legal protection. Undeterred, Neil continued to exert his control, taking her to Court to overturn or challenge decisions made in her favour. He finally persuaded Chaya to sign a letter stating that she wanted him back home.
“I only wanted my daughter to have a father in her life,” she says.
Neil’s behaviour only took a turn for the worse, and at the end of the lease on their home, Chaya and Anya finally moved away renting out a room from another family in her community. Despite the Family Violence Intervention Order in place, Neil would often go to courts to find ways to gain access, but Chaya no longer had to face these challenges alone. With her support worker by her side, she had guidance to navigate the Court system.
After Anya was enrolled in school, Neil once again approached the Court on the grounds that Chaya had health issues and couldn’t manage Anya’s commute to school and back. This time, Neil was successful even though Chaya had been managing the school run using the taxi service. He finally had the access he needed and would keep Anya for long hours after school without letting Chaya know their whereabouts. He demanded payments for petrol costs, which Chaya paid off from her Centrelink payments – her only source of income.
“I didn’t want to fight, so I gave him money from the little I had.”
Once again, Chaya had her support worker to turn to. She finally had a listening ear and someone to reach out to for advice.
Chaya slowly began to find her strength and stand up to her abuser. Her attempts to set boundaries with Neil, only made him angrier and Chaya began to sense her life was in danger.
“He told me he was going to come and kill me. I was scared,” says Chaya.
She turned to the one person she knew she could count on - her Windermere support worker. When the frantic call from Chaya came through, her support worker was quick to reach out to Safe Steps. In a matter of two hours, a taxi arrived to take Chaya and Anya away to an undisclosed location, just as Neil was making his way to them. The quick response meant, Chaya and Anya could escape unharmed.
In the safety of a motel room for the next couple of months, Chaya and Anya spent their days facing an uncertain future with nowhere else to call home. During that time, Windermere remained in contact, providing vouchers for much needed supplies. It was at this time, that Windermere made a decisive step to offer to relocate them to a transitional home so that Chaya could continue accessing the support they needed.
Once they moved into their new home, Windermere helped with Anya’s school enrolment and school supplies including a uniform, so she could go back to school.
Before long, Neil began his many attempts to gain back control, taking Chaya to the Family Law Court. Windermere linked Chaya with legal services so that she had free legal representation. The Court finally gave Neil the allowance to make video calls with Anya, under Chaya’s supervision. During these calls, the risk of exposure was ever present and Neil often tried to use Anya to find out where they lived or the school she was going to.
When he failed at his many attempts, he would lose his temper and berate Chaya. Soon Anya became anxious about having to take these video calls. Windermere stepped in and supported Chaya to report the many breaches to police to ensure Anya’s safety and wellbeing and eventually Neil lost access to video calls as well.
As Chaya and Anya slowly began to heal and build their lives, Windermere also found a new long term housing opportunity for Chaya and Anya, through Women’s Property Initiatives. The long term stable and affordable housing was much needed relief. Importantly, Windermere also ensured a CCTV security system was in place at the new house.
At this time, Neil continued to make appeals, repeating his attempt to control Chaya using the court system. Once again, Neil found grounds to have contact with Anya at supervised contact centres. After picking up Anya after a supervised visit, Chaya realised they had been followed home. Fortunately, having the CCTV cameras around the property, helped trace the vehicle back to Neil. Although Neil found a way to blame the incident on stolen number plates, the security cameras in place ensured he could no longer risk being spotted near Chaya’s home.
Desperate to continue his control over Chaya, Neil visited her home country in the hopes of influencing her family. He failed yet again. In the meantime, the Courts ruled that it was no longer in Anya’s best interest to see her father. Chaya and Anya could finally breathe freely.
Still, the shadow of his threat lingered and Chaya lived in uncertainty, not knowing when Neil would make his next move. Events took another turn, when Neil became the subject of a new police investigation for other serious criminal charges. It sent Neil into hiding and soon the news arrived that he had passed away. Chaya was quick to turn to her support worker, the one person she knew she could trust and feel safe with her thoughts and complex emotions.
Despite the tumultuous events in her young life, Anya is a loving daughter who speaks with affection of her mum ‘who does everything for me’ and only wants her mum to be well and happy. Anya speaks fondly about the help she’s received as well – something Chaya wants her to always remember.
Finally free to move forward with her life Chaya is determined to continue improving her English and teach her young daughter Anya to become strong and independent. She started by setting an example and has now obtained her driving licence and purchased her very own car so she can build her own independence. Chaya also gained her Australian citizen.
Chaya also dedicates her time to social groups such as crochet to build new connections and attends a community centre to learn English. She’s working toward a goal that is now at the forefront of her mind.
As a step in this direction, Chaya regularly donates from her modest income to causes that she holds dear. She knows that every little bit counts to someone who needs relief and hope. She reflects on her life and only has wisdom and words of encouragement for anyone living in difficult circumstances.
“If you need help, don’t stay silent. Reach out for help,” she says.
*Details have been changed to protect identity
For more information visit our Family Violence support page. Windermere also provides homelessness support services (through referral) and confidential counselling for families and individuals experiencing sexual assault and/or family violence.
If you need urgent help
Safe Steps (Women’s Domestic Violence Crisis Service)
24-hour telephone crisis counselling, information, referral and support for women experiencing domestic violence.
Phone 1800 015 188
www.safesteps.org.au
1800 Respect
24 hour counselling and support service for people impacted by sexual assault or family violence.
Phone 1800 737 732
www.1800respect.org.au
** If you are concerned for yours or someone else’s immediate safety call 000.**
More support
Visit here for a range of after hours support services here.
48 Webb Street
Boonwurrung Country
Narre Warren, VIC 3805
Phone: 1300 946 337
Email: info@windermere.org.au
Windermere is committed to equity, inclusion and belonging for consumers and employees, by building diverse and inclusive services and work environments, where all peoples from Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander, Culturally & Linguistically Diverse, LGBTIQ+ Communities and those living with disability will know and feel accepted, affirmed, safe and celebrated. Windermere is delivering this through the continued development and implementation of our Welcoming and Inclusion Strategy 2021-2024.
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