Vital support to break free from trauma and danger

The following content may be disturbing for victims and survivors of violence and trauma. We encourage you to use your discretion as to whether you should continue reading. Visit here for a list of after-hours support numbers.  

Loving mum Lucy is no stranger to life’s overwhelming challenges. There was a time when she stood to lose everything she valued and cared for in her life. It was the right and timely support that helped her get her life back and secure a future for herself and her children. 

Lucy lives independently as a single parent to two young children and has recently completed her second degree. Her first-born child, Hannah, has a severe and complex disability requiring constant care and attention.

“It takes a village,” says Lucy of the support that has helped her emerge out of despair, difficulty and danger.

When her baby daughter Hannah was diagnosed with a severe form of cerebral palsy, Lucy had little support to help her through her difficulties. Hannah, who uses a wheelchair and is tube fed, needed constant care and regular visits to medical appointments.

To make matters worse, Lucy was trapped in a violent and abusive relationship with her partner. Her mother, her only source of comfort and support, was diagnosed with cancer and could no longer help as her condition worsened.

With nowhere to turn, Lucy struggled to cope with the trauma and violence she was experiencing frequently. She fell into deep despair and began to believe the abusive words her partner hurled at her regularly. Riddled with depression and anxiety, she resorted to taking medication and alcohol to numb her pain just to make it through the day.

Matters took a turn for the worse as the violence in Lucy’s home escalated and her partner viciously attacked her. Terrorised and fearing for her life, Lucy made a desperate attempt to flee her abuser by taking off in her car.

Unfortunately, Lucy was under the influence at the time and she was intercepted and charged with a DUI. Her car impounded and license suspended for two years, Lucy was left with no other alternative but to transport her daughter to medical appointments on foot and by public transport.

To add to her frustrations and trauma, her partner would deny any wrongdoing and question Lucy’s state of mind and her account of violent events. He would also threaten to harm himself if she attempted to leave and led Lucy to believe that she was to blame for the violence she endured.

After the birth of their son Elliot, Lucy was well and truly trapped. Securing a separate rental away from her partner seemed an impossible task on a single income and with a child with a severe disability.

During this time, Lucy sought the services of Windermere’s Family Violence program to help her navigate her way out of danger. It was clear that Lucy also needed support to help her address her trauma and coping mechanisms as well. Windermere provided further assistance including tools to help Lucy secure a rental that suited her needs.  

“My caseworker supported and encouraged me to write and explain my circumstances, which helped me get the rental that I needed. That got me thinking about what I could really achieve and become.”

Although Lucy gained the independence she needed, breaking free from the cycle of violence and reliance on substances would prove to be a long journey.

She found managing her daughter’s disability on her own, challenging. As time wore on, the lack of support and isolation began to overwhelm her. She struggled to care for Hannah and her partner gradually returned to her life with promises of support and changes for the better.

It didn’t take long, however, for the pattern of violence and abuse to return. During an incident of extreme violence where Lucy was thrown to the floor and held at knifepoint, the police were alerted. Subsequently, Child Protection Services intervened to remove Lucy’s children from her care for a period of six weeks.

“It was one of the darkest periods of my life. I was deeply ashamed that I had allowed him back into my life, but it was a wake-up call.”

Her children were placed in the care of two separate homes and Lucy cycled or walked every day to visit, and to ensure that Hannah was receiving the care she needed. Lucy also accepted that she could no longer have her partner in her life for the sake of her and her children’s safety and that she would have to care for her children by herself.

Once Hannah and Elliot were finally returned to her, it was vital that Lucy continued to receive support to work through her trauma. Failing to do so put her at risk of losing her children, permanently.

“I still had to grieve that part of my life. I didn’t expect to feel that way and I didn’t know how to deal with that grief,” she says of becoming a single parent.

Her caseworker continued to provide assistance, referring Lucy to psychological services and urging her to address her reliance on prescription medication and alcohol.

“It was difficult being honest with myself. I didn’t want to admit to myself what I was doing. My caseworker could see right through me and helped me come to terms with it so that I could get the help that I needed,” she adds.

Her caseworker also identified that Lucy would greatly benefit from further intervention and support. A referral for intensive services proved to be a turning point in her recovery. Regular visits to her psychologist and working with Windermere, CPS and intervention services created the network of support that Lucy desperately needed.

“When you are not alone, you are more likely to be able to change without trying to fill that void with substances.  It takes a village and they were my village.”

Addressing the root cause of her substance use and gaining the tools to establish structure and manage a child with special needs, set her firmly on a journey to recovery.

Lucy now steers clear from alcohol and substances that have plagued her during her darkest days. After maintaining a clear record, she was also granted her driving license and is now able to commute with ease. The independence and ability to travel helps her better care for her children and see to their needs.

“I'll do anything for my children. I will move mountains, but I also needed to do it for me as well and that meant getting to the root cause of my trauma, and that was hard,” reflects Lucy.

Lucy also drew courage and hope from success stories Windermere shared, learning that others in her circumstances had succeeded and reunited with their children. It compelled her to share her own story in the hope that it would help someone else.

“Don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Surround yourself with the right people and remove from your life those who cause damage,” she adds.

Having overcome the worst of her troubles through sheer courage and determination, Lucy is now able to see her life more clearly. Several years ago, she had pursued her second degree program which she had never been able to complete. Fuelled by renewed motivation and self-belief, Lucy reached out to the university and was granted her degree. The framed certificate hangs proudly in her home and marks another step in the right direction.

Lucy draws courage and motivation knowing that help is at hand and is determined to stay the course as she takes one step at a time.

“I feel like my Windermere caseworker has a special gift. There should be more people like them on this earth,” she adds.

*details changed to protect privacy

If you need assistance Windermere offers confidential counselling and intensive homelessness support services for families and individuals experiencing sexual assault and family violence.

For more information:
Call: 1300 946 337
https://www.windermere.org.au/services/counselling

If you need urgent help
Safe Steps (Women’s Domestic Violence Crisis Service)
24-hour telephone crisis counselling, information, referral and support for women experiencing domestic violence.
Phone 1800 015 188  
www.safesteps.org.au

1800 Respect
24 hour counselling and support service for people impacted by sexual assault or family violence.
Phone 1800 737 732
www.1800respect.org.au

** If you are concerned for yours or someone else’s immediate safety call 000.**

More support

Visit here for a range of after hours support services here.